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Sunday, August 14, 2016

How to Bribe Me

By:  Susan


It always surprises me when I see rewards offered for reading.  For me, reading has always been the reward.  

As a child, I suffered from chronic tonsillitis.  I remember getting a penicillin shot almost every other week.  This was back in the early sixties in Iran where disposable needles weren’t available yet.  I remember climbing the stairs to the top floor of the pharmacy where a man in a white coat would take out a giant metal injector and place it in a steel container with boiling water to sterilize it.  He would then approach me, who was being restrained by a mother or a father and probably screaming.  Next thing I remember, I am walking up the stairs of my house rubbing my sore behind.  To encourage me to endure these painful experiences and to show up for the next one, I was bribed with books.  Every time I had to get a shot, my mother would buy me a book!  By age five, when I finally had my tonsils removed, I had amassed quite a library.  In second grade
when I came down with a severe case of the measles, my one request was a copy of a children’s book I had seen on the children’s story hour on television.  The book was Kaduye Ghelghele Zan or the Rolly Polly Pumpkin, about an old lady who tricks some wild animals by hiding inside a pumpkin as a mode of transportation.  I remember lying miserable and feverish in my parent’s dark bedroom and my father coming home with a hardback copy of that book.  I know he had to have searched for it all over town.  Of all the things I left behind when I came to this country, I miss my collection of children’s books the most.

When I was in fifth grade, I wanted to join the newly established library in my local park.  I had to get permission from my parents and my school principal in order to join.  The principal refused to consent because he thought outside reading would interfere with my academic performance.  My elementary school did not have a library.  The one at my high school was used as the detention hall until a blessed soul took away the locks and let us check out the books.  At fifteen when I stepped into a public library in Houston, Texas for the first time, I could not believe that there were no locks and I did not need anyone’s permission to get a library card.  That was incentive enough for me to try to adjust to a new country and a new culture.

During the years I lived in Venezuela, my reward was the small, dank and dusty library at the Church that was set up decades ago by the Standard Oil Company to meet the needs of the expatriates living in that far off post.  I read every Agatha Christie mystery they owned, as I fed and rocked my four children who were born there.  Once, I found a tiny kiosk tucked away in a narrow hallway of a shopping center next to the bakery I frequented.  The young woman and her mother who owned the store were the only source of quality children’s literature in that town.  They did it for the pure joy of it, for God knows it wasn’t for the money. Finding that little bookstore was like finding a treasure.

Once I became a teacher, every time I read The Miraculous  Journey of Edward Tulane, my students would burst into applause at the end of the last page.  Kids have come in voluntarily during their lunch period to listen to Esperanza Rising.  How to Steal a Dog and The One and Only Ivan bring tears to my eyes and theirs.

I don’t think we need to reward anyone for reading but by reading.  The story is the prize.  The words are the bribe.  


Tuesday, August 2, 2016

On Promises by Carolyn

"We live in a society that over-promises and under-delivers."

I can't take credit for the line - it's from an insurance commercial that airs on my favorite radio station - but it is so true.

That line has made me think about promises.

Merriam Webster's dictionary defines a promise as "a statement telling someone that you will definitely do something or that something will definitely happen in the future".

Watching the conventions put on by the Republicans and the Democrats has reminded me, once again, that no president has ever been able to fulfill the promises made on the campaign trail. Let's be realistic - if it were that easy to fix all of our nation's problems, someone would have done it long ago. If we buy into the rhetoric offered by  politicians, we are destined to feel the disappointment that comes with over-promising and under-delivering. "Promises and pie crust are made to be broken." (Jonathan Swift)

Likewise the constant bombardment of advertisements for products that promise us perfect health, a long life, flawless skin, lustrous hair, sparklingly white teeth, and miraculous weight loss - all without much effort on our own part. Another instance of over-promising and under-delivering. Yet we keep falling for it. "Promise, large promise, is the soul of an advertisement." (Samuel Johnson)

Parents (or spouses or friends) sometimes do the same thing. Maybe they are busy with work or distracted by something in their own lives. "We'll do something special next weekend, Sweetie," they promise. Next weekend comes. Busy-ness happens again. "I'll make it up to you, honey, I promise" becomes the continual refrain. Childhood (or the relationship) passes in a cycle of over-promising and under-delivering. Trust withers.

Our society builds up marriage as a promise of happiness. Despite our constant real-life observations or experiences that should lead us to realize marriage is not all sunshine and roses, we are still tempted to believe that it is. Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-marriage. I hope someday to be married again. I just know that marriage is hard work. A daily state of bliss is not guaranteed. Our culture puts out hype about living happily ever after that over-promises and under-delivers. "You promise heavens free from strife." (William Johnson Cory)

Money. There's another instance of over-promising and under-delivering. We think, "If I just had more money, I'd be happy." or "If I could buy (insert desired item here), everything would be great." Studies have shown that people with more money are no more happy than people with less money. Why do we keep believing the deceitful promise our society makes us that money equals happiness? The only thing money gives us is choices. Again, don't think I am anti-money. I hope someday to have some, along with the choices it brings. But money or no money, my happiness is up to me, not my bank account. "But it is pretty to see what money will do." (Samuel Pepys)

Here's the flip side of the coin: not only do we need to be aware of people and products and circumstances that over-promise and under-deliver, we must also be on guard against being the one who makes the promises and does not follow through. Let our "yes" mean yes and our "no" mean no; let our actions, not our words, speak our intent.


Sunday, July 17, 2016

Of Fear and Trust

By: Susan

Note: The word essay really means "an attempt".  Here is an attempt on my part to understand the dynamic that fear and trust have played in my life.  These ideas are by no means scientific or definitive.  So I welcome your comments to help me further clarify my thoughts.

I have been thinking a lot lately about the difference between acting out of fear and acting out of trust.  It started with parenting.  I know that for the most part, my first response when it comes to my children was fear, fear for their safety, for their physical and spiritual well-being.  When they were little I was worried about them getting sick or lost in a crowd.  I spent many years afraid that they were not getting the best education possible.  In their teenage years I worried about what they did when they weren’t with me, afraid of what choices they would make.  Now that they are all young adults, I worry about who they will marry, will they be happy, will they be good parents, will they be financially secure.  A few years back I started trying to replace the fear with trust.  Trust that their father and I have done our best to instill a love of knowledge and learning in them so no matter what school they go to or who their teachers are, they will always learn something.  Trust that we have built a home on the foundations of faith in God and His guidance, so they know the difference between right and wrong.  Trust that they will make mistakes and be tested, but that God will guide them and protect them.  I wish I had learned this approach sooner!  Parenting out of trust is not any easier; it’s just more joyful, more liberating, less claustrophobic (both for the parent and the child). Fear spreads a fog over everyday life.  It smothers happiness.  It suffocates self-knowledge. Acting out of fear is like walking across an abyss on a rope bridge.  Living with trust feels more like walking on solid ground, in the sunshine, with a strong hand on your back, holding you steady.


Even though I may have parented a lot out of fear, I know I taught out of trust.  I started teaching when my last child was in kindergarten.  So I had had about fifteen years of experience raising children.  So I came to the classroom trusting that ALL children would love a good story, that ALL children would want to solve problems and get in touch with their mathematical intuition.  I knew that ALL children were naturally curious and would love learning about their world.  That’s why my years in the classroom were definitely joyful and I want to think that my students felt safe and therefore learned better.  


Living with trust is not about being naive or delusional.  It’s about examining my assumptions. It’s about assuming the best, until proven otherwise.  It’s about believing that there is more to this life than self-preservation.  We can’t completely dissociate ourselves from fear.  It’s a part of our nature and it’s there for a reason.  But it’s the instrument of the lower animal nature.  Trust comes from a higher place, from that part of us that can hope, pray and have faith.  


So I instead of fearing the unknown, I am trusting in the growth that comes from stretching myself in new directions.  Instead of fearing differences, I trust that God in His wisdom created these differences for a purpose, for us to learn to see His image in all the diverse hues of our skins, the varied rhythms of our tongues and the multiple expressions of our souls.  

Saturday, July 2, 2016

National Books by Carolyn

I'm going to break the rules of this blog (again) by copying part of a chapter from a book I am currently reading, rather than writing my own text. My intent is to begin some thinking and some dialogue about what this author writes. Read carefully and consider . . .


     In 1987, the bicentennial of the Constitutional Convention, three very important bestsellers swept America: Robert Bork's The Tempting of America, E.D. Hirsch's Cultural Literacy, and The Closing of the American Mind by Allan Bloom. They presented essentially the same message, about law, society, and education, respectively: that we have straying from our founding - and not in a good direction. . . 
     Consider Allan Bloom's profound analysis of American education. As I read this modern classic, three major points stood out. First, societies are successful when people choose to be good. If people choose mediocrity, they end up with a mediocre society. If they choose excellence, they build an excellent society; if they choose decadence, society decays. This is not only common sense, it is historically accurate.
     Second, people choose to be good when they are taught and believe in good. People's choices are a direct result of their beliefs. And their beliefs are profoundly influenced by what they are taught by parents, friends, teachers, clergy, etc. If they are taught a falsehood or even evil, and if they believe it, they will choose poorly. Teaching influences belief, which guides action.
     Third, the thing which demonstrates how well they are taught is their national books. A national book is something that almost everyone in the nation accepts as a central truth. The national book of the Jews is the Torah; Muslims, the Koran; Christians, the Bible, etc. It could be argued that Shakespeare is a national author for England, Goethe and Luther for Germany, Dante and Machiavelli for Italy, and so on. Whatever the nation, its national books, the books that almost everyone in the nation revere and believe in, will determine the culture. Good national books, like the Bible or Shakespeare's works, will lead to a good nation. Bad national books like The Communist Manifesto or Mein Kampf will lead to bad nations until they reject such books.
     Now, what of a nation with no national book, with no central text which almost everyone agrees upon as the measuring rod of right and wrong? Such a nation is simply without culture, or at best is in the process of losing it. . . 
     In fact, there is no national book in America today. No national books mean no culture; and this is very ominous for the future. Any society which loses its national book declines and collapses in ignorance, dwindles and perishes in unbelief. 

     This seems to be a propitious time to think about this author's statements. We are close upon the anniversary of our nation's birth, a time for celebration. Yet, our country is in turmoil at every level - socially, politically, economically. We are searching for reasons, for someone to blame, for some positive, forward-propelling action we can take.

     So what do you think of his three points, and why? What are the implications for our nation and ourselves if his points are valid?
     
The author has certainly given me some food for thought.


From A Thomas Jefferson Education: Teaching a Generation of Leaders for the Twenty-First Century, by Oliver Van DeMille. Published by George Wythe College Press, Cedar City Utah, 2008, p. 63-64.

Monday, June 27, 2016

at·ten·tion (noun) by andrea

at·ten·tion (noun)

The act of close or careful observing or listening


As in: Lately, I am paying more attention to conversations being had and questions being asked about what is going on in America.  Conversations around rights, freedom, justice, racism, sexism, zenophobia and homophobia; inequality in education, housing, pay. The list goes on and on and on: imprisonment of the mind, body and soul; government and corporate corruption; victim shaming and blaming. One would think that acts of and conversations about brutality, of any kind, in the 21st century in the western world would not be polarizing.  But it is. Another subject from which my attention cannot escape.  

Everyone is talking about, writing about, hollering about something valid, worthy and crucial for the survival of someone, maybe even us all.  I don’t really watch the news outlets or read the papers, but somehow all of these issues enter my consciousness and cry out for me to wake up and stand at attention.  At a time in our country when as a collective we seem wealthier, more erudite, more spatially integrated, my attention keeps being drawn to the poor, the undereducated, the marginalized.  Recently, most of the books, articles, tweets, posts and videos crossing my desktop, newsfeeds and suggestions you may find interesting are about these issues.  

The truth is, there is a major part of me that would like NOT to pay attention.  I would like to bury my head in the sand. It is summer break from my demanding yet rewarding job of teaching, and I would like to be relaxing on the beach with a soft read or hanging out with my friends sipping near grown-up drinks living, for the moment, as if we do not have responsibilities.  Instead, my eyes, ears and heart are being assaulted by a bugle call, a reveille of sorts, to pay attention to what is going on in the world today. This seems to be a theme of my most recent summers. I have my own life and the lives of my loved ones to pay attention to also. My grandmother is aging.  My children are transitioning into adulthood and this signals a life change for my husband and me.  There are physical, emotional and spiritual needs to be met all around me. I have friendships to tend. I have prayers to pray and books to read. I have family reunions and stories to write. 

The struggle is this, however:  I am a part of the collective.  It is impossible for me to separate the ills and struggles of my national community from that of my blood relatives and my friends.  There is a trickle down effect.  For example, as I think about being an “older” woman of inspiration and instruction for my younger cousins having their first babies, I must also pay attention to the thoughts of my real fear of the America these precious hued children will be brought up in.  

I was born in 1972 in a desegregated country.  I was brought up in the American South, the supposed seat of racism, barely a decade following the Civil Rights Movement yet I do not think in my entire lifetime have I ever been as concerned as I am now about being black in America. Though major, this is but one of the national issues at hand on which I must focus. 

Alas, I must pay attention because the daily lives of all the children and people who matter most to me could be at stake.  Though this has always been true, I feel it more acutely today.  Maybe it is because I am getting older and the world is in fact changing. Maybe it is because of the sheer volume of stories out there demonstrating the harsh realities of American life. Yet, despite all the schisms and isms happening before my eyes and streaming into my ears,  I remain optimistic and faithful, maybe more cautioned than a couple of decades ago, but hopeful nonetheless.  

And on days like today, when my heart and hippocampus are full, I will turn off the screen and silence the notifications. I will put away the books and articles. I will go have dinner with my girlfriends. I will text silly and sentimental memes to my children.  I will marvel at the wonder that is my growing grandson.  I will make my daily call to my grandmother to reminisce and laugh. I will cuddle with my husband. I will meditate on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy. I will hope. I will pray. I will remember that God is always good and always paying attention.  I will put my trust in Him and be at peace.

-Andrea


Monday, June 20, 2016

Don't Wait for the Letter from Hogwarts

By:  Susan

Rebecca Stead, the Newbery Award winning author of When You Reach Me, was asked at a conference I was attending what advice she had for aspiring writers.  She said most of us are waiting for someone else, some expert or authority, to tell us that we are writers (or singers, painters or astronomers).  Unlike Harry Potter who got a letter from Hogwarts telling him he was a wizard, most of us will never get such affirmation.  It is only when we take ourselves seriously and start doing the work of writing (or singing, painting or star gazing) that we will feel the confirmations.

I am not saying there is no such thing as innate and natural talent.  There are people who have a gift and I sure hope they use their gift to bring joy and other good things to the world.  I am talking about the majority of us who have a craving to be creative, to bring something of beauty into this world but are waiting for permission.

If we took away our tendency to compare, compete and commercialize when it comes to art, I think more of us would be willing to take a risk and explore our creative sides. And the more we allow ourselves to practice, make mistakes, and try again, the better we will become.  We may never be a Shakespeare or a Rebecca Stead.  We may never sing like Andrea Bocelli or know the galaxies like Neil DeGrasse Tyson.  But we will, just through the sheer act of trying,  get better at our art.

For example, I never thought I could sing.  As a matter of fact, I was told I should not sing.  But when my children were babies and required literally hours of rocking and singing to go to sleep each night, my voice actually got stronger.  Unfortunately, when my third child came along, she wanted to be laid down and left alone when she was sleepy, so my singing voice went dormant again.

My late mother-in-law started writing poetry in her fifties.  Although she had been a school teacher, she would always introduce herself as a poet.  She was also very encouraging of any artist she would meet.  If she met a young man who had written some poetry or a woman who liked to paint, she would introduce them to others by saying:  This is José and he is a poet or this is Julia and she is a painter.  Almost always Jose or Julia would try to correct her but she was so convincing in her judgment that they would hold back.

The world needs more beauty.  The world needs more of us to give something of our soul to it.  So sing, write poetry, paint or learn about the stars.  It doesn't have to be perfect, it may not win a prize or bring in any money but it will bring joy to your heart.

Often when I visit an art museum, I hear people comment on abstract or modern pieces and say: I could do that.  My response to them is: You should. This summer, I have vowed to paint something every day.  I have given permission to myself to purchase the supplies I need and spend a little time every night creating or re-creating something.  And it has brought me joy.

                      

Sunday, June 12, 2016

ABC's of ME-Part 2




ABC’s of ME
Part 2


Ice Cream

I don’t know what it is about ice cream, but it brings me a little summer anytime, anywhere.  Mint chocolate chip is my favorite.  On a sugar cone.  In case anyone was wondering. 

Juggling

I used to be fascinated with learning how to juggle.  It just looked like a cool thing to do, and I was always up for a challenge.  I started with napkins, since they were a little easier to catch, and they floated down so very gently and slowly.  Once I mastered juggling napkins, I moved on to tennis balls.  I never really got further than that.  I can’t even say that I actually mastered juggling tennis balls, but now I juggle something a little different.  I juggle tasks, events, schedules.  With two busy kids, you have to learn how to juggle activities, and other priorities that I find important.  For example, homemade meals together and actual conversations.  I juggle a little more carefully now, since the stakes are a little higher than some fluttering napkins.

Kit Kat

Favorite chocolate.  It’s crunchy. It’s sweet.  It comes in a pair, if you feel like sharing.  I never seem to though.

Logophile

Someone who loves words is called a logophile.  I have a notebook of words that I have collected.  Words that have powerful meanings.  Or words with cool sounds and pronunciations.  My favorite words currently are shenanigans and atrocious.  They are fun to say, and when you say it with a little extra oomph, it just makes you feel happy. 




Movies

I love them! I love them! I love them!  If you ask me what I feel like doing for the evening, it is possible that I will say, watch movie.  Movies inspired by true events are probably my favorites.  Followed very closely by romantic, undying love type of movies.  It really is hard for me to pick a favorite movie.  There are so many I love for so many different reasons.  I have my go to movie if I feel like a good cry, and I have ones I go to if I need a pep talk.  My sister and cousin, and now my children even, play a game in which you have to guess the movie based on the movie quotes someone else gives.  It’s quite fun on road trips!

Nostalgic

Some of my favorite trips are down memory lane.  I don’t mean to dwell in the past, but sometimes a smell or a song will take me back in time.  To a simpler day, or a perfect moment that is forever chiseled in my memory.  I don’t stay there long.  Just a short visit, but it warms me up all over.

Optimistic

“Be optimistic,
Don’t you be a grumpy.
When the road gets bumpy,
Just smile, smile, smile and be happy.”

As you have learned, I love movies.  There is a little song from the movie, Anywhere but Here, that always seems to come into my head when I am not having the best moment.  It is about a single mother who is doing the very best she can for her daughter.  Unfortunately, her daughter does not agree with the way the mother tries to get ahead.  When things went wrong, and they often did for the duo, she sang the song above.    It doesn’t necessarily change their luck, just like it doesn’t change my circumstances, but it does definitely make the tough moments a little easier to swallow.

Prayer
Prayer has always been in my life since I was young enough to remember.  There are pictures of my grandma and me walking around her house saying our prayers before bed.  I was in diapers.  I 100% believe in the power of prayer.  I don’t always take advantage of its benefits.  Sometimes I wake up and get to running before I even cover myself with protection and blessings.  Lucky for me, I remember, and get to praying. 





Quotes

 “A good quote is a beautiful bird! Wherever you meet with it, you will start flying with it!”

Sophia Itzel Lara


She likes to say that she was probably doing pirouettes in my belly or toe touches.  That must have been what I felt when something was kicking in my belly.  I was overcome with emotion when they placed my green eyed girl in my arms for the first time, and I still feel that same way when I see that girl smile.  She has the sweetest heart, and I will do everything I possibly can to keep her that way.  I might have to lock her up in a tower or something.

~Esmeralda