" Did you ever stop to think
that we women who do too much wouldn't be able to do too much if we weren't
competent, strong, intelligent, courageous and determined? We might, however,
be a bit lacking in common sense."
The above quote is attributed to
Ann Wilson Schaef in Meditations for
Women Who Do Too Much. As I read it my mind began to buzz. I realized that
I had never really thought about what common sense means, what value it has for
life. I believe I have common sense, at least I have been told so since
childhood. Would someone know if they didn't have it?
First, let's think about what
common sense is.
Where I'm from, it is a highly
prized quality. The elders will say, even of the very young, 'that child is
really sharp, lots of common sense... Honey, common sense will take you places
book smarts or money never will.' If one possessed book smarts, but lacked
common sense, he'd be mocked. And being told you didn't have any was as great
an insult as being called a liar or thief.
Dictionary.com records the
definition of common sense as 'good sense and sound judgment in practical
matters.'
The Cambridge Dictionary defines it
as, "the basic level of practical knowledge and judgment that we all need
to help us live in a reasonable and safe way".
How does one acquire common sense?
How does it apply to my life as a woman?
Is it possible to be as powerful
and skillful as today's woman is and miss the boat on having common sense? Is
this lack of common sense the reason why our "dream lives" are so
often elusive? We want impact, purpose and meaning. We practically kill ourselves
and others with our agendas and superhero like speed... doing too much, going
too fast and getting no closer to the life we think we ought to live.
So what is common sense? How can it
keep me from doing too much?
Common sense is knowing most of the
time good enough is good enough.
Common sense is knowing you are
enough, right now, just as you are. Yes, you!
Common sense is going to bed when
you are tired and getting up when you are rested.
Common sense is living one's life
with a sense of rhythm, not rushing.
Common sense is knowing that we are
here for a reason and that God uses our lives as they are. He will help us to
maximize our unique gifts and strengths as needed.
Common sense is loving yourself so
that you can love other people.
Common sense is putting first
things first, second things second and so on.
Common sense is using what you've
got while you've got it. YOLO (you only live once)!
Common sense is recognizing every
day you wake up is a new day. Who doesn't love do-overs?
If the essence of common sense is
'having practical knowledge and judgment to live in reasonable and safe ways',
then the very act of doing too much indicates a lack of some common sense.
Doing too much is unreasonable and unsafe. It has become a habit of western
culture. I have bought into the deception along with most of the women I know.
We are capable, strong and mighty. Hear us roar! But our sister Ann might be
right. Doing too much screams loudly that we are a bit lacking in the most
common of senses.
Common sense is believing old
habits can die, even if their deaths come slowly. We can change. We don't have
to live hurried lives. We can kick back a little and enjoy the ride. Isn't that
what we want?
Observing the world is one way we
develop common sense. But not just by looking at what others are doing. We also
have to slow down and look at our own lives and ask tough questions of
ourselves.
Is what I'm doing working for me?
Is it getting me the results I
want?
Oftentimes asking 'Why?' in
response to what we observe and do
provides the clarity needed to make sensible, profitable decisions that will
lead us to a reasonable and safe life. We have to be wide awake and thinking.
Reflection and practices that are in line with solid beliefs will make us
wiser. Common sense is wisdom. And wisdom takes us places and gives us
experiences that book smarts and money never will. Wisdom is using what we know
to dictate what we do. As we know better, we ought to do better. This is common
sense.
A diet of healthy boundaries and
exercising sound judgment can reshape a life of doing too much. Let us run the
race marked out for us. It’s different for each of us women. Let common sense
lead us along a path of peace toward the lives of which we dream.
Isn't that what we all want?
-Andrea
-Andrea