by: Susan
My father never made a decision or answered an important question without "sleeping on it". My grandfather's advice was to "roll the words in your mouth" before speaking them out loud, to make sure they tasted as sweet to you as to the person receiving them.
A while ago, I noticed that the new update to my Gmail was suggesting phrases as possible responses to my emails. Which made me realize that Google was reading my correspondence. I quickly disabled the feature because: 1) I don't need help answering my emails, and 2) it is just creepy!
Lately, I have been thinking maybe this feature can actually come in handy. What if upon reading my email, Google identified angry and irate language. Wouldn't it be nice if when pressing Send, I got a message that said: "You seem to be upset. Are you sure you want to send this email?" If I still say yes, it could ask me again: "Are you absolutely sure?" and receiving another yes, it would tell me: "Ok. But we will just hold on to this message for 24 hours in case you change your mind." I bet you anything after sleeping on it, I would probably change my language or decide that the email was not necessary after all. The same can go for social media messages. I mean, if we have the technology, we might as well use it to save us from our own selves.
I heard a psychology professor explain that when faced with a problem, the human brain scans its environment for possible solutions and uses whatever seems to be accessible at the moment. These days our devices are always accessible and hence possible solutions when we get indignant, angry or outraged. When our children are tired and overwhelmed at the end of a long day and we are fighting over homework with them, it's so tempting to fire off an angry email to the teacher who assigned the homework. When we see yet another story of shooting or stabbing or bigotry, spitting out our anger and frustration on whatever social media platform happens to be available, is just too easy.
It is possible to apologize after we have sent an angry email. We can go back and delete a comment. But words have a way of exerting their influence long after they have been spoken. It is really not possible to take them back. Once a harsh word has been said, it will hang in the air forever. Hopefully, the recipient has enough grace to forgive us and forget our words, but the universe has been altered. Angry, hurtful words, even when spoken out of righteousness, do not open doors of dialogue.
I really don't want Google reading my emails. So I practice what I always suggest to my fourth graders: Never, ever, turn in a writing piece without reading it out loud. It's good practice for learning to revise writing and it may save lots of embarrassment and the need to apologize. Even better, read it after sleeping on it.
