Tomorrow I will be celebrating 36 years of marriage. Although we always remember this special day, we have never made a big deal about it. Usually we just go out to eat. It is not that we don’t appreciate our marriage or don’t recognize all the blessings and rewards our life together has brought us. We do. But without explicitly agreeing to it, we have come to give each other the gift of constancy - those qualities that attracted us to each other, that continue to fortify our “fortress for well-being”. This year, I do want to testify publicly to my husband’s enduring gifts to me:
An open heart - The first time I spent any time with Ben was during a volunteer project, visiting Spanish speaking homes in a humble neighborhood in Houston. At one house, we were invited in and offered food. I had just arrived in the US and had very little experience with cultures and communities other than mine. Everything was new and unfamiliar to me. Ben had a very different upbringing and had lived with diversity all his life. He accepted the food and ate with gratitude and gusto. I said to myself: I want to be like that, I want to feel at home with everyone. I fell in love with his humility and his genuine love for these people we had just met. When I tell this story, he brushes it off and says he was just hungry.
A well-trained mind - Although I was only nineteen years old when I got married, I knew enough to look for qualities that were enduring and would not fade away with the passage of time. In our circle of friends, Ben stood out as a very knowledgeable person. He read a lot, spoke several languages and knew something about almost everything. He still does. He is very handy when we travel - no need for a tour guide. I am also grateful that he has instilled that same love of learning in our children.
A different way of doing everything - I always say that it’s a good thing for our children that Ben and I are different in so many ways. If we were both like me, our children would never leave the house, climb a tree, swim in an ocean or go down a zip line. There would be a lot of pressure on academic performance. If we were both like Ben, they would eat popcorn for dinner and be late to school every day. Fortunately, we are different and we have each brought a different strength to parenting our four children. So they take risks, they love learning, they eat healthy food and they are usually on time.
The greatest lesson I have learned from my husband is that if everything works out the way we planned it, we would never feel God’s hand in our lives. We started with lots of short and long term plans. We spent the first eight years of our marriage planning. I used to quote from Of Mice and Men:
“Go on, George! Tell about what we're gonna have in the garden and about the
rabbits in the cages and about the rain in the winter and the stove, and how thick
the cream is on the milk like you can hardly cut it. Tell about that George."
Go on, Ben! Tell about how we’re gonna live in South America, and have children and have a house where all kinds of people gather. Tell about that Ben.
And most of that did come true, but then the world got in the way and we had to change course. And that’s how we knew God was looking after us. We moved back to the States and started over. So now I say: Go on Ben! Tell about when we retire and move back to South America and have a house where all kinds of people gather. Tell about that Ben.
As I wonder what the next thirty six years will bring us, I try to remember the important things, the enduring gifts that have bound us together so far.
An open heart - The first time I spent any time with Ben was during a volunteer project, visiting Spanish speaking homes in a humble neighborhood in Houston. At one house, we were invited in and offered food. I had just arrived in the US and had very little experience with cultures and communities other than mine. Everything was new and unfamiliar to me. Ben had a very different upbringing and had lived with diversity all his life. He accepted the food and ate with gratitude and gusto. I said to myself: I want to be like that, I want to feel at home with everyone. I fell in love with his humility and his genuine love for these people we had just met. When I tell this story, he brushes it off and says he was just hungry.
A well-trained mind - Although I was only nineteen years old when I got married, I knew enough to look for qualities that were enduring and would not fade away with the passage of time. In our circle of friends, Ben stood out as a very knowledgeable person. He read a lot, spoke several languages and knew something about almost everything. He still does. He is very handy when we travel - no need for a tour guide. I am also grateful that he has instilled that same love of learning in our children.
A different way of doing everything - I always say that it’s a good thing for our children that Ben and I are different in so many ways. If we were both like me, our children would never leave the house, climb a tree, swim in an ocean or go down a zip line. There would be a lot of pressure on academic performance. If we were both like Ben, they would eat popcorn for dinner and be late to school every day. Fortunately, we are different and we have each brought a different strength to parenting our four children. So they take risks, they love learning, they eat healthy food and they are usually on time.
The greatest lesson I have learned from my husband is that if everything works out the way we planned it, we would never feel God’s hand in our lives. We started with lots of short and long term plans. We spent the first eight years of our marriage planning. I used to quote from Of Mice and Men:
“Go on, George! Tell about what we're gonna have in the garden and about the
rabbits in the cages and about the rain in the winter and the stove, and how thick
the cream is on the milk like you can hardly cut it. Tell about that George."
And most of that did come true, but then the world got in the way and we had to change course. And that’s how we knew God was looking after us. We moved back to the States and started over. So now I say: Go on Ben! Tell about when we retire and move back to South America and have a house where all kinds of people gather. Tell about that Ben.
As I wonder what the next thirty six years will bring us, I try to remember the important things, the enduring gifts that have bound us together so far.
congratulations to you both, wishing you love and happiness for ever..
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