No Caged Bird Here

Captured

Trapped

A cage of my own doing

Unintentional but consistent

Locking the door behind me

After climbing into the enclosure day in and day out

Holding on to the key so tight

The key to let myself be free

I do it to myself

Believing all the negative thrown my way

Nails securing the cage door shut

Too short

Too old

Too fat

Too much of all that is bad

And not enough pieces of things that are good

But not enough for who?  

For them?

Who says?

Stop believing the lies

Stop being your own warden

You hold the key

The key to be free

To embrace the You and to be fine with the Me

Step out of the cage of your own self-doubt

Throw away the key

Swallow it if you have to

Then exhale and release.

Probletunities by Carolyn

The school district I used to work for had a special word for difficulties: probletunities. This was intended to give the idea that problems were opportunities for growth or improvement.

To me, the term probletunities seems so very glib, so shmaltzy, as if we should be glad of the barriers or struggles or failures we encounter in our jobs or our relationships or just in our daily lives; that they should be celebrated as chances to grow and improve. "Yippee!" we might say, "I burnt the roast for tonight's dinner and our guests will be here in twenty minutes. Now I have a chance to improve myself by solving this problem!" Or "Hooray! I hit the accelerator instead of the brake and ran into this brick wall. I'm so glad I now have the opportunity to grow as I have the car towed and struggle to find the money for repairs. I know this will ultimately make me a better person." Not likely for most of us.

I dislike the term probletunities, but I do applaud the sentiment. Although it seems counter-intuitive, it is true that we learn more from mistakes or struggles than from successes.

As a parent, grandparent, and educator, I have observed this to be true, yet it is still difficult to allow those we care about to go through difficulties. Not only do we not want to engage in struggles or experience failures ourselves, but we don't want our loved ones to, either.  One of the characteristics almost all parents have in common is that they want the best for their children. We want them to have happy, healthy lives, so we do our best to smooth out the rough spots for them. By not allowing them to experience the common struggles in life and working toward solutions, we may be setting them up to be less responsible, less diligent, less appreciative.

Most of the teachers I have known (and that is a lot!) are, by nature, "helpers". They have a deep desire to nurture and help people, particularly children. Unfortunately, this can lead to being too helpful. It is very common for students to complain about a task being too hard. Our first instinct is to swoop in and help. Rather, we should allow a little reasonable struggle, providing just enough support. This builds persistence, confidence, willingness to try new things. If we are never given the opportunity to try things that are just a little harder than what we have already mastered, how will we ever grow and learn? Everything we ever accomplish as human beings comes about because we have tried something just a little bit harder than what we did before or we have experienced some sort of problem that has forced us to come up with a better way of doing things.

I have seen an increase in what I label "learned helplessness" in children, both in classrooms and with their parents. While I don't think we should go out of our way to make things difficult for children, I do think it is easy to overdo the rescuing we are inclined to do. In my previous life as an assistant principal, I dealt with many parents who were determined not to allow their children to undergo any type of negative consequences for misbehavior. I often told them that it was better to allow children to experience (and survive) small punishments for small infractions when they were young (and, hopefully, learn the concept of cause and effect from it) than to experience those same lessons when they were older, their mistakes were larger, and the punishments more severe.

So, while I don't really like the term probletunities, I do embrace the idea that we learn best by experiencing and overcoming trials and by stretching ourselves to reach just a little bit farther than we were able to yesterday.

An Intersection of Honor... by Andrea

“Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you’re just doing research.”
- Carl Jung

     I read a blog post written by a woman who was feeling discouraged because at the age of forty-plus she felt as though she was just beginning her journey toward the life she had imagined herself living in her twenties and thirties.  She saw herself as a late-starter.  Commenters were offering their own stories of "feeling behind" in life.  I remembered reading a magazine article a few years ago about many well-known men and women who had their big breaks well into their adulthood, many in midlife and beyond.  The writer of the post was a black woman writing for black women. The commenters, too, were mostly women of color.  As I thought about some of my friends and acquaintances who have expressed similar sentiments, I wondered if this is a thing among black womem. So I decided to compile my own (wo)manifest of inspiring examples of women blooming at just the right time.

     In honor of Black History and Women’s History months, here are ten well-known, well-respected African-American women who prove the quote above to be true. Though we can and should look to these women for encouragement and fuel for the pursuit of our own victory stories, we must also look to the women in our everyday lives who can inspire us to use our gifts, talents and passions.

Maya Angelou​, at ​age 41 years old​, published her seminal memoir ​I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.​ Who can say that Maya Angelou is best known for any one genre of writing. After Caged Bird,​ she went on to write seven more volumes of her life story, volumes of poetry, screenplays, plays, essays, cookbooks, children’s book, speeches and so much more. Before her prolific writing career, Ms. Angelou had been a streetcar driver, singer, dancer, Civil Rights activist, spoken-word artist, and teacher among other careers that shaped her life, her storytelling and her writing. She was an all-around Renaissance woman, if that’s a thing. 

Toni Morrison​, age 39, published her first novel ​The Bluest Eye, ​yet it was not until she was ​46 years old​ that she published her third novel and first well-known work of fiction,​ Song of Solomon.​ Ms. Morrison went on to be named a winner of the Nobel Prize and the Pulitzer Prize for Beloved,​ probably her best known book. She has authored books for children, the text of an opera known as the libretto, essays and other works of nonfiction. She is a teacher, editor and outspoken advocate for feminine, racial and social justice especially in regard to literary freedoms to tell one's stories.

Amy Sherald​, ​i​n 2016, ​at the age of 43​, was the first woman to win the Outwin Boochever Portrait Competition grand prize. ​ ​Before this she was a working artist yet virtually unknown. She now has works on display at the National Museum of Women in Arts. Being named as the painter for the official portrait of Michelle Obama further propelled this talented artist who seeks to “paint the paintings I want to see in museums” into the public eye. Her painting of the first African-American FLOTUS hangs in the National Portrait Gallery and has garnered over a million visitors in person, and millions more through the internet- a record number of attendees for the museum. I would say, Ms. Sherald has arrived. I cannot wait to see where she will go next!

Viola Davis​ was set up for success with training at Juilliard and a career on stage and in a few little known screen productions. It was not until her co-starring role in the movie ​Doubt ​with Meryl Streep, ​at 43 years old​, that Viola’s career took off. The critically-acclaimed, award winning, South Carolina-born actress (you knew I had to get that in there) was the first African-American actress to win a Tony, an Emmy and an Oscar. She stars in the television drama, How to Get Away with Murder, and is an activist for the honor, respect and rights of all women.

Sharon Jones​, soul singer and the Queen of Funk, did not have her big break- after having given up on the possibilities of having a career in music- until 1996, at the tender ​age of 40 years old​. She is sometimes referred to as the female James Brown because of her soulful sound and amazing stage presence and dance moves. The longtime South Carolina resident died in 2016 at the age of 60. I am so grateful she lived out her dream of being a professional entertainer for almost 20 years and that we have soul-filling music and a Netflix documentary through which to get to know and to remember her.

Maxine Waters​, though she has been an agent of change probably from the day she was born, was first elected to Congress at ​the age of 56​. She has given rise to a generation of fans who she is motivating to reclaim their time and make the most of every minute. Even folks who may not agree with her politically have to admit her passion and dedication at 75+ years old are timeless and worthy of imitation, for young, old and everybody in between.

Shirley Chisholm​ became the United States first African American congresswoman in 1968 at ​forty-four years old​. Chisholm is quoted as saying during her political campaigns for Congress and for the 1972 Democratic Convention nomination for the presidency that she received “more discrimination as a woman than for being black. Men will be men.” She staffed her political offices with all women, half of them being black. She qould be proud of the represntation of women on the House and Senate floors today. She was a pacesetter and a pioneer in every sense of the words.

Ernestine Shepherd​, octogenarian American bodybuilder and personal trainer, did not begin her age-defying health and physical pursuits until she was ​56 years old ​with the onset of illness and untimely death of her sister. Mrs. Shepherd made her sister a promise that she'd get in shape. She went a little farther than that. In 2010, at 75, she was named the oldest female competitive bodybuilder by the Guinness Book of World Records. She runs 10 miles every day and teaches fitness classes for the elderly. She proves it might not be too late for me in the fitness department!  

Cicely Tyson​ was cast in The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter in 1968, ​at age 44 years old​. Six years later, she became the first African American actress to win an Emmy Award for Outstanding Lead Actress in a television movie, ​The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman. ​At age 93, she is still enjoying appearances on red carpets and continues to inspire us toward aging with grace and style.

Dr. Carla Hayden​ was ​64 years old​ when she was nominated by President Obama and sworn in as the first woman and first African American and the 14th Librarian of Congress in September 2016.

Apparently, age ain't really nothing but number. As my grandmother used to say, you're only as old as you feel. It looks to me these women might be feeling like they are at the start of something new. 

Andrea