Green Thumb by Esmer

I do not have a green thumb. I tend to over water my plants. Either that or I forget about watering them completely for a few days and then I have to go back and try to make up for the damage. My mother however, all of her fingers are green, not just her thumb. She can make a car grow in the ground by planting a tire. I asked her recently what her secret was. And you will never guess what she said?  She talks to them. She says nice things to them, praises their beauty and how much they have grown. She uses a tender tone, and I am sure I have heard her sing a lyric or two. My son believes that scientifically this makes sense. He says that the carbon dioxide you breathe out of your body and onto the plant while talking or signing to it helps it grow. Ummmm ok. I knew that. (Absolutely did not even think of it.) Although it probably is the more logical reason, I want to believe that these plants are a lot like us.  We need the oxygen, and sunshine, and food to survive, but kind words to grow. Positive affirmations to help us reach our highest potential.

Having the privilege to be inside the elementary school classroom, I have seen the power of kind words in action.  I have seen students who are struggling with a math problem or having difficulty answering a question about a book we just read, shrink in front of my eyes.  And I have seen these same students, rise to the challenge with a simple, “You’ve got this. Let’s figure it out together. I’m here with you.” They sit up a little taller, and believe they can try. Even if they get the answer wrong, their thinking has shifted from, “I can never do this”!  to “next time I will get it right.” What’s even more amazing, is that these kids who once held their heads down, began to pass on the seeds of kind words. They encouraged each other, and began to build each other up, not because I told them to but because they wanted to.

It’s okay if you do not have a green thumb either friends.  You can still grow a garden full of smiles, and kindness which leads to a lasting feeling of self-worth that will spread far beyond the comfort of your fence.  Wow, what a sight that will be to behold!

Decisions, Decisions

I am not comfortable with making choices.  It isn’t often that I deviate from my norm.  I like to stick to what I know. There is comfort in the familiar, and I am all about the comfort.  I love my comfy “ I like big cups and I cannot lie” t-shirt. I have a favorite pair of comfy sleepy pants to wear during winter, and some comfy shorts I wear during summer.  When I go to a restaurant, I already know what I am going to have. Chick-fil-A with all of its options, I know I will get a number 3 with a lemonade to drink. No need to upsize unless it’s been a day that requires some supersize fries.

It’s not the decision itself that scares me, but more choosing wrong.  Making a wrong choice will lead to a bad outcome and then where does that leave you?  Life ruined forever. Ok… ok.. A little dramatic. While there are certain situations that can highly alter your life, most don’t warrant the stress and worry we tend to cause ourselves.  I have been making some decisions recently that have kept me up at night wondering whether or not I took the right path. Did I choose the road less traveled like Robert Frost suggests? Or is Jerry Seinfeld right and is the road less traveled less traveled for a reason?   

Regardless of what quote you subscribe to, or what path you take, it’s all about how you handle a situation when the decision is made.  The decision does not define your outcome. Only you can do that. You change jobs and it might not be exactly what you thought it was, but you can still have a positive outcome.  We can make the best of any situation, and see the beauty in the paths we do choose. The journey doesn’t end after one choice after all. We keep going, keep moving, keep choosing.

~Esmeralda

So Far by Kevin, Guest Writer

So far in my life I have taken somewhere around 550,624,000 breaths.  Some of them were short and fearful--like when my sixth grade teacher showed me the book I thought I had lost, and asked me for the book I stole to replace it.  Others were long and luxurious--like deeply breathing in tropical sea air perfumed with the scent of the lei of flowers around my neck, and thinking Hawaii and Heaven just might be the same place.  There have been quick gasps of delight and of pain, long drawn calming breaths and even choking sobs that refused to stay in my lungs.

So far I have breathed the joy of getting my first car, of walking across stages at graduations, and across an altar as my beautiful bride came down the aisle to me.  My breath has caught in my throat waiting for the first newborn cries of my children.  It has stuck there saying final goodbyes to my parents.

I’m grateful for every one of them. However, with each breath I have come closer to the realization that our attitudes, our feelings, our moods and personalities are largely a product of how we choose to exhale.

In times of joy and contentment it is easy to exhale kindness, patience, and affection.  But in times of conflict and strife, it is much easier to blow out hatefulness.  So herein lies the real question, my friends.  Are you going to breathe in anger and bitterness only to spew out ugliness and hurt?  Or are you going to breath it in and transform it into grace, hope, and love?  From this breath on, you do have a choice!

How have you been breathing so far?  

Kevin L. Williams is a child of God, the husband of Angie, and the father of Emilee, Grant, and Gabe.  He is a facilitator of learning for phenomenal 5th graders at Reed Elementary.  

The Art of Making Choices

By:  Susan

I am a recovering second-guesser. I struggle with questioning almost every decision I make:  What if I had ordered the fajitas instead of the mole? Should I have bought the higher end toaster oven?  What if I had become a teacher from the beginning instead of studying something else first? What if we had stayed in Venezuela or moved to another country instead of moving back to the States? What if I had not left the classroom to become an instructional coach? What if I had done things differently as a parent, as a wife, as a daughter? etc. etc. etc.  This kind of thinking not only leads to a lot of personal anxiety, it also drives the people around you crazy.  It makes them feel as if they are the mistakes you made; what you settled for instead of what you have gained.  Worse of all, it stops you from being present and committed to what you actually did choose to do.  One of the perks of reaching middle age is that you begin to let go of some of these destructive patterns of thought.  We don’t have to wait for old age to rehabilitate, however.  So here are some thoughts that have helped me battle doubt and indecision:

I had a boss back in my chemical plant days who used to tell me: You make the best decision you can with the information you have at the time.  I now would add to that:  You make the best decision you can, with the information and the spiritual maturity you have at the time.  John Dewey says:  “We do not learn from experience... we learn from reflecting on experience.”  So the better question to ask is: What did I learn from making this choice? And not: What if I had done things differently? The first offers the possibility of doing things better the next time, moving forward.  The second just takes me on a trip to the land of fantasy.

There is so much uncertainty in this life.  I believe it is actually designed to be that way.  How else would we learn to be detached, to rely on God and to let go?  Even if we are very careful and mature and collect all the necessary information, we can never be a 100% sure that we made the best decision.  So what’s the point? I think what matters is how we live through our choices and not so much what choices we made.  Do I take responsibility for this choice or do I blame others? Do I continue to treat people around me with love and respect or do I become resentful and take out my disappointment on those closest and dearest to me?  Do I do the best I can because pursuing excellence is who I am or do I take the path of mediocrity because this is not what I really wanted to do? 

Kicking a bad habit also requires a support system. I have been blessed with a life partner who does not dwell on the past and does not indulge me either. Reminding people how they could have done things differently and more perfectly just adds salt to the wound and encourages the second-guessing.  It paralyzes the most vulnerable ones from making any decisions at all.  When we are caught in the cycle of doubt and self-recrimination, the best thing someone can do for us is to point out what we have gained from the experience, what we have that we wouldn’t otherwise.  When it’s all said and done, I am pretty sure we will not be judged on the accuracy of our choices but the quality of our characters while living with those choices. 

And every day offers a new possibility for doing better, choosing better and being better.