Manners

I recently took my dog to a puppy manners class.  He is a three month old goldendoodle named Moose. Sweet as pie, and highly spirited.  Right now I am able to walk him no problem, but once he gets older and bigger and stronger, he might be a little more difficult to control.  I figured in the long run it would help me help Moose live his best life, plus everyone needs to have manners.

After the group introductions, we learned how to use a clicker to teach our puppies to sit.  Moose was a star student because we had already been working on that at home. (Proud momma!)  As we were practicing the clicking the behavior, and then rewarding the behavior with a treat, the instructor said something that made me feel a little guilty.  She said that we, as adults, are so used to saying no. No and don’t are typical responses when the pups do something we don’t want them to do. It’s easier to focus on the negative aspect than to change our language to something more positive and productive.  For example, when Moose is barking constantly I tend to tell him no or stop it. As opposed to, quiet Moose or calm. Same outcome, different technique.

I started feeling guilty because I know I tend to do this to myself as well.  I tend to focus on negative aspects, rather than change my language to something more productive.  I say things like, “you can’t do that.” “You will never be able to do such and such.” “Why can’t you get it together?”  When I am struggling with something a “you’re stupid” sneaks in. Yes these are actual things that come into my head and even out of my mouth at times.  How sad, and how horrible to have the person who you are around most of the time, yourself, be so negative. Even if they are not verbalized, and it’s all in your head, it is still exhausting to carry that around.  I have a daughter and a son, and I would be broken-hearted and irate if they did that to themselves.

Years and years of doing this isn’t easy to break in a day, but if we switch the language we use then that’s a start.  

I can’t can become I am working on it.

Why can’t you get it together can become I am doing the best I can.

My friends, be kind to yourself.  Nothing is perfect. Life gets hard.  Things can seem overwhelming. Let’s plants seeds of positivity within ourselves.  After all, it’s good manners.

~Esmeralda