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Showing posts with label be yourself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label be yourself. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

Attitude of Gratitude

I recently read an article about the effects of having a grateful attitude.  It was an article about scientifically proven benefits of gratitude. Apparently it improves not only our emotional health but also our physical health. A few things mentioned were it makes us happier, improves our moods, increases our resilience, improves our self-esteem.  It also can improve sleep, helps reduce pain, strengthens our immune system, and lowers stress. These are only a few of the things the article mentioned as positive effects of a grateful attitude. At times it tends to be a little difficult to see the sunny side up. Especially when many things get thrown at you during the day and you get bogged down with all the to-do’s and the don’t do’s and the don’t have time to do’s.  So how can we have an attitude of gratitude? I think you have to make it a habit. Like we have to make working out a habit, or eating healthy a habit. And for anything to become a habit we must do them for an extended period of time. We must practice it every day. It might be as simple as being grateful for a cup of coffee or tea in your hand, or the wonderful feeling of fur between your fingers as you scratch your little Fido’s face.  I believe the things or people or moments that bring the biggest joy are the little ones that sometimes might go unnoticed. I challenge you to join me in a month of jotting down a few things you are grateful for each day. I have a journal specifically for this task, because I tend to jump at any opportunity to buy a new journal, and I may or may not have bought some new pens for this month of gratitude. Whether it is in a journal, or in your planner, or a notecard.  And whether you jot down your gratitudes at the end of a long day, the beginning of a new day, or somewhere in between, let’s do it. And then let me know how you feel at the end of the month.  

Here is a list to start my attitude of gratitude:

  • Skinny Vanilla lattes
  • The first sip of coffee in the morning
  • Writer’s group and kindred spirits
  • The freshness of a new day with new possibilities
  • My 95 year old grandmother’s young spirit
  • My mother continuing to mother me even after I am a mother of my own.
  • My daughter’s kind heart
  • My son’s sincere and reflective mind
  • Reminders on my phone because I have a million and one things on my mind at all times
  • My silky pillow after a long day
  • Music, any, all kinds
  • Giggles during pedicures (not mine but my daughter’s)
  • The determination on my son’s face before the snap of the football
  • Friends who are family
  • Pink dresses and strappy heels
  • Walking into church on Sunday morning
  • Walking out of church filled with peace on Sunday morning
  • Curling up with my fuzzy blanket to watch a movie or read a good book
  • The smell of the library
  • My grandma’s house, and the stories it holds
  • That I am exhausted at the end of the day because it means I tried my best. I gave all I had.
  • That I carry hope within me so that even on the darkest of days, I still feel the sun’s rays even when I can’t see them. 

Monday, March 25, 2019

No Caged Bird Here

Captured
Trapped
A cage of my own doing
Unintentional but consistent
Locking the door behind me
After climbing into the enclosure day in and day out
Holding on to the key so tight
The key to let myself be free
I do it to myself
Believing all the negative thrown my way
Nails securing the cage door shut
Too short
Too old
Too fat
Too much of all that is bad
And not enough pieces of things that are good
But not enough for who?  
For them?
Who says?
Stop believing the lies
Stop being your own warden
You hold the key
The key to be free
To embrace the You and to be fine with the Me
Step out of the cage of your own self-doubt
Throw away the key
Swallow it if you have to

Then exhale and release.

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Fine

“I’m fine” is a  phrase I use regularly.  More often than not it’s what comes out of my mouth when my Friends or family ask how I’m doing.  It is a comfortable, safe response, and the least complicated. It isn’t a lie. Most times I am fine.   Regardless, one Monday morning when I was rushed and stressed, and not fully recovered from the weekend a friend asked me how I was doing.  I said fine with a smile of course, and then we shut our portable doors to start our day. I stayed in that same spot near the door for a bit, as I contemplated how much I actually claim to be fine.  It got me thinking, was I really fine? Why do those words just spill off my tongue so easily without any thought. What am I trying to communicate to others and to myself? I decided to further investigate so I googled the definition of the word I claimed to be so many times a day.  One definition of fine was: to be very well, in a satisfactory manner.  Doesn’t sound bad. It’s not negative.  There is no emotion or umph behind it though.  It just is. The second definition, however was: high quality.  I liked the sound of that. Sounded better than satisfactory. I continued my search with some synonyms.  First-class, first-rate, great, exceptional, splendid, exquisite, superb.   Wow!  They all had a powerful ring to them more so than the fine I was used to referring to.  When I used my old kind of fine, I felt it. I felt satisfactory. I was going through the motions of the day.   Counting the minutes, not the moments. Why just be satisfactory when we can be superb? Why not exquisite or splendid?  
In our busy day to day of living life, the tasks can be mundane at times if we let them.  We don’t have to though. From now on, when and if I use my favorite phrase, it won’t just mean satisfactory.  My hope is that when someone asks how you are doing, you can smile and answer with emotion and honesty, I’m fine.  

Thursday, May 7, 2015

The ABCs of Me by Carolyn

I loved Andrea's post so much that I am shamelessly copying it! In fact, both of us can thank our co-writer Susan, for showing us the very cool book, Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life, by one of my favorite authors, Amy Krouse Rosenthal. It's one of those books that you look at and think, "Why didn't I think of writing a book like this?" The author has simply written a snippet about her life for each letter of the alphabet, but the result is quite entertaining. What a deal!

So here is a beginning for my personal encyclopedia:

A is for Angry Resting Face.


From the Urban Dictionary: Angry Resting Face (ARF) - Term used to describe the angry-looking facial expression that one instinctively makes when s/he is resting, zoned out, or not actively engaged in a conversation. Someone with an angry resting face may be unfairly perceived as cold or aloof. An effective remedy for an ARF is to learn to "smile with your eyes." 

A colleague taught us about this a few years ago. I was extremely relieved to hear that it was a real thing, because I have been accused all my life of being angry, or grouchy, or sad, or worse, when I am not. That is just the way my face is. I have tried to develop an HRF (Happy Resting Face), but it just does not work. We who suffer with ARF deserve your pity, not your scorn.  :)




B is for baby. Maybe I should have saved this for "G", as in grandbaby, but I wanted to get it in here as soon as possible. People always tell you that there is nothing like being a grandparent. This is true. The joy of snuggling with your own little hunk of love, knowing you do not have to get up in the middle of the night with the little bugger is complete and utter bliss.


C is for CeCe. One of the most important decisions of your life is what you want to be called by your grandchildren. It is of supreme importance. You should start worrying about it as soon as possible. I have been weighing my options for quite some time, hoping I would eventually need to have something ready. I'm happy to report I now have the need for a grandmother name (see entry under "B is for baby" or "J is for Jude"). I have contemplated Grammy C and CeCe and various other options, but ultimately I know it will be up to my first-born grandchild to choose my name. I just hope he doesn't decide to call me MeMaw or MooMoo or something equally horrid!




D is for dogs. If you are a faithful reader of our blog, you may know that I have dogs. Three of them, in fact. What was I thinking? But that is a different story (see Life Lesson #7 from July 15, 2014). Here is what I like about having dogs: they love me, they do not talk back, they (typically) do not generate dirty laundry or dirty dishes, they love to cuddle, they let me pick what to watch on TV, and they are occasionally very entertaining. What I do not like about having dogs: they chew up EVERYTHING within reach, they track mud and various other unidentified debris into the house, they like to dig in trash cans and pull out all the contents thereof, they jump up on me in a frenzy of overwhelming affection, and they do not understand the concept of sleeping late on weekends. As with everything else in life, you take the bad with the good. They are part of my life.


E is for elementary school. I am a teacher. I briefly dabbled in middle school and high school earlier in my career, but my heart belongs in elementary school. I remember having a conversation about that a few years ago with my long-time friend who taught middle school. I said one of the reasons I much preferred working in an elementary school was that I got hugs from the kids there. Totally shocked and disgusted, she said, "And you LIKE that?" Yes, I do. Research tells us that hugs make you happier, healthier, and more relaxed. Who wouldn't like that? I work with wonderful, giving colleagues and have the privilege of touching young lives. It just doesn't get any better than that.

F is for food. I really, really like food. That is all.

G is for grandmother. Yes, I am one now, but that is not what I want to talk about here. My father's mother was called Mawgaw, which is my sister's fault (see entry under "C is for CeCe"), My sister was the first-born grandchild and apparently couldn't say "Grandma" correctly. I feel sure I would have done a better job of it if I had been the one in charge of naming the family matriarch. Be that as it may, Mawgaw was an incredible woman. She was love personified. She hugged and kissed and generally loved on us every possible moment. She didn't cook fancy dishes, but the food she made was absolutely wonderful! Hot yeast rolls, juicy and tender pot roast, sweet, flaky blackberry cobbler . . . every bite was full of love. She was tough as nails - she worked every day alongside my grandfather on their cattle ranch, planted and tended and harvested a  huge truck garden every year, canned and preserved the produce, managed the roadside fruit/pecan stand, cooked three meals a day, and ran the house as well. But she was also tender-hearted and felt the pain of everyone around her. I remember one time when I had hurt myself as a child (which happened regularly), she was pouring out sympathy on me, hugging and kissing, and lamenting my wound as grandmothers are supposed to do. My mother said, "Sarah, quit being nice to her; it just makes her cry harder!" Mawgaw was also generous to a fault and always assumed the best of everyone. She was an amazing woman. I miss her every day. I hope I can be as good a grandmother to my grandchildren as she was to me.

G is also for geocaching. This is a pastime I discovered a while back. It consists of using GPS coordinates to search for and (hopefully) locate "caches" hidden by other geocachers. Very fun. Unfortunately, I don't get to do it very often - lately, my only involvement in geocaching has been talking other people into trying it! I hope to get back to it soon - the excitement of recording my geocaching name and date-of-find on the list inside a cache is calling to me.

H is for hospital. I was born in Lampasas, Texas, in the Rollins-Brook Hospital. At that time, the hospital had 13 rooms. It was, strangely enough, a source of pride to me for many years that I was born in such a teeny-tiny facility. Sadly, the hospital was enlarged greatly several years ago. I was, and still am, bummed about that.

I is for . . . you guessed it, Ireland. I am homesick for a place I have never lived. I'm not sure how that is possible, but 'tis true. The moment I set foot on Irish soil, I knew it would become a part of who I am.
                “There’s music in the Irish names—
                 Kilkenny . . . Tipperary . . .
                 There’s beauty in the countryside,
                 From Cork to Londonderry,
                 And whoever makes his earthly home
                 Close to the Irish sod
                 Has found a bit of Heaven
                 And walks hand in hand with God.”



J is for Jude. Yes, I managed to work my grandson in here again.
But really, how can I resist those toes?



J is also for Jessica, who married my older son, became my daughter-in-law and daughter-in-my-heart, and co-produced my grandchild. What a deal!







K is for Kenneth. K is for Kyle. Just want to say to expectant parents out there - don't give your children names that begin with the same letter. Didn't you hate it when your mother called you the wrong name, so you swore you would never do that to YOUR children? You probably will, and giving them names that begin with the same letter increases that probability approximately 68%! This will irritate your children greatly. Need I say that I love both of them with my whole heart? They have been, and continue to be, the joy of my life and my greatest accomplishment.

L is for libraries. You probably already know I am a book lover and voracious reader. Could there be anything more captivating and comforting than a whole room full of books? I could cheerfully pass hour after hour snuggled in a comfy chair with a good book or two or three. After all, there is "no furniture so charming as books" (Rev. Sydney Smith, 1808-1895).

M is for mother. I lost my mother when I was 26; she was only 50. She was my dear friend, my trustworthy confidant and wise advisor, a dependable haven of love and security and tenderness when I was sad or confused or troubled. She has been gone twenty-nine years now: I have been without her loving presence in my life for longer than I had it. I still feel the void.

N is for nose. A very prosaic entry, I know, but nonetheless important to me. I do not know where I got my nose. It is not my father's nose, my mother's nose, nor is it like any of their parents' or siblings' noses. It is a confounding mystery. It appears that God stuck it on willy-nilly, without regard for family resemblance. If I had been given the choice, it is not the nose I would have picked, but there it is anyway, smack-dab in the middle of my face.

O is for Oregon. About three summers ago, my sister and I went on a trip to the Pacific Northwest with our father. It is an area of the country we knew he would like to visit, as he greatly enjoys the beauties of nature. Oregon is, of course, jam-packed with evergreen trees. Tourists flock there in droves to see them. The trees are awe-inspiring, indeed, soaring up into the sky, towering over everything. However, too much of a good thing is apparently too much. After a couple of days of driving along the winding country roads surrounded by the sturdy trunks and lush, green branches of those lovely giants, Dad complained, "I wish these trees weren't here. They are blocking the view." Oh my.

P is for poetry. One of the joys of my life in recent years has been "teaching" poetry to kids. A few years ago Susan, my co-coach, and I decided to delve into teaching poetry in a way that would preserve its joy. We have had a lot of fun with it ever since. This past school year I had the pleasure of introducing Jennifer's second graders to poetry - they caught my enthusiasm for it so thoroughly that they begged me never to stop bringing them new poems!



Q is for Queen Bee. My sister and I have often observed to each other that we were apparently born as worker bees, rather than queen bees. You know, those women that sit on the couch and look glamorous while the rest of us skitter around cooking, cleaning, and generally taking care of all the grunt work. Sometimes I wish I had been born a queen bee instead of a worker bee, but I guess it's a little late for that.  Buzz, buzz.

R is for redheads. That's something else I wish I had been born as. (Poor grammar, but you get the idea.) My father and his mother were both redheads before they went gray. I have always wished for red hair. When that clearly was not going to happen for me, I wished that one of my children would have red hair. That didn't come true either. Maybe Jude's hair will turn red . . .

S is for sister. I only have one, but I am so glad she is the one I have! I would not always have been able to say that truthfully. Candace was not very nice to me when we were growing up, as is the way of older siblings. If you ever meet her, be sure to ask her about the time she closed me up in the attic!

S is also for shoes. All of us have a weakness - mine is shoes. After all, shoe love is true love!

T is for Texas. Born and raised. And don't you forget it.

U is for university.  Anyone who knows me probably also knows that I love Texas A&M University. Proud Aggie,  class of '79. 
I know, that was a long time ago.  

V is for vagabond. I think I would like to be one. At least for a little while. But I also know it is important to me to have a home to come back to.

W is for widow. I am one. Never wanted to be (at least not seriously). Never imagined I would be. I occasionally griped at my husband for not spending enough time with me. He would reply, "We have forever to spend together, precious." Forever was not long enough. Give your spouse a hug and kiss every day and treasure your time together.

X is for an "unknown quantity". Lots of people think they have me figured out. They don't. Can any of us really know anyone else? 

Y is for yen and yang. Balance is best. I'm still trying to find it.

Z is for zzzzzzs. I love sleep. I have always loved sleep. My mother used to joke that I was born just in time to take a nap before lunch! 





Saturday, October 25, 2014

What Do You Like about Yourself? By Andrea

What do you like best about yourself?  While perusing the internet, I came across this question on multiple pages so I decided to give it some thought.  Like most people, there are plenty of lines in my story that I would like to change- my waistline, my bust-line, my bottom line, just to name a few. Overall, though, I think I have a fairly healthy self view.  I like me. I am a ‘glass half-full’ kind of girl by nature, and I like that about myself.  

But as I thought and wrote about this more, I remembered a line from one of my September journal entries I just reread a few days ago: I think my optimism and idealism, my hope and ‘look for the good in others’ mindset has gotten me into trouble yet again.  I can clearly recall my emotional state of unrest and anxiety in the taxing, overwhelming situation about which I was writing.  I was also very frustrated that I could not turn off the Pollyanna in me. I was angry that I could not communicate what I was feeling rather than what I believed. 

During that time everyone kept telling me about how great it was that I could keep 'such a positive, gracious, hopeful attitude’. All I really wanted was a reprieve, relief from the stress, for someone to rescue me from the mayhem and foolishness. I prayed for God to remove the burden. I hoped for the problem to just disappear. I wanted someone else to see that I was wilting, instead people said things like ‘way to keep persevering’, ‘way to be a problem-solver, ‘thanks for looking for gems rather than stones.’  I wanted to be able to say “This really stinks!  It’s really hard, and I really CANNOT handle it!”. But that is not how I am known. People expect me to give my all, to be faithful, prayerful and to stay in the fight until something changes- for the better. The truth is and always has been that I expect this of myself, too. Even in the middle of all the woes and anxieties, I could not stop believing that things would get better.  I could not stop searching for answers.  I could not give up or give in. I could not communicate that my glass was half-empty because that’s not really what I believed.

I know God is at work.  I know that hope is a game-changer and love does conquer all.  I believe there is a solution to every problem, a possibility for growth and change for even the most challenging of us. I guess the thing I like best about myself is that I am a perpetual optimist with a desire to see and to do good in my little world.  Yes, this view does get me into trouble sometimes- making people think I can handle a lot more than I maybe actually can or should.  Over time, I have grown a little less idealistic than in my youth.  I know that life does not always go the way I believe it will, no matter how much I believe. Nonetheless, I also know that having a positive, proactive outlook makes a greater impact than the opposite approach.  Looking for the best gives me strength to keep going.  So here I am- staying the course, pursuing hope and embracing optimism.  I think I look pretty good in rose-colored glasses.

Epilogue:
For each of us there is something unique that we add to the world. We have all heard it before.  It is true!  Rather than self-deprecating, spend a few minutes self-appreciating. What is it about you that you like best?  Chances are appreciating yourself will cause you to be more of yourself. Being yourself may invite challenges or obstacles.  It may get you into trouble sometimes.  You can handle it.  By being more of yourself, you will empower others to do the same.  And without even having to try very hard, you’ll have made your world a better place.  Simply by being you.
-Andrea

Life is an echo.  What you send out, comes back. What you sow, you reap.  What you give, you get. What you see in others, exists in you.  - Zig Ziglar